Well well well........Zeta-Jones. She is a rather attractive woman. Like I said, lady and gentlemen, I have yet to meet a hot Welsh woman. I also have never met any Welsh women in general either. So there you have it. The gig is up.
This year's Das Losers Invitational is really an intriguing little tournament. There are some high-powered teams that didn't make the cut this year and by all accounts most of these teams want to actually win this thing, and most of them have a shot. All this being said, I love to see the HATED Bonerfried in the DLI. Remember, these odds are made for illegal wagering purposes only.
Bajen Avalanche (3-1)
It's always embarassing to a Chick Magnet when he doesn't qualify in the B-Cup. Avs have a HUGE league match next Sunday for what amounts to a series title match. Fotunately they open against the hapless Presidents. But if it truly is a Match of the Season, the Avs may be looking at a DLI very difficult Semi against the HATED Bonerfried.
The HATED Bonerfried. (4-1)
Jesus, I hate this team more than anything on the planet. I'm not sure why exactly. Is it the fact that my team is a combined 2-8-1 against them? Nah. Series position fairly secure. Loaded for DLI bear. By the way, I may hate this team, but I got to hang out with the little Lily of the HATED Bonerfried's Boyd's making yesterday. I'm here to report that she's looking more and more like mother Kristin Boyd than father Michael. Thank God.
Maidstone Reunited (4-1)
Stones is a funny team. Do they have what it takes in the front office to advance in the DLI? Maybe. If they play their players in positions best suited to their skill they have a shot but they've been known to switch up backs and mids. Dangerous team, but probably not enough. Could make the finals.
Direwolf Athletic (4-1)
This team had everything going for it after beating Le Tigre and it just plain limped out of the qualifying round. If you'll recall, this is the only team that I picked to advance that didn't. I put so much faith in the team's ownership that I'm a little bit hesitant to let her win back my trust again. Hey, does this sound like an REO Speedwagon song? See what women do to me? Hey, um, seroiusly, Direwolf is going to make noise in this thing. Believe you me. (See, I'm so damn easy.)
Kings County United (7-1)
This Reunited - United first round matchup could be very very interesting from the sounds of it but United has too much at stake in the final two weeks of this season in his series. He wins his last two matches and he's on to IV. Can't risk his series play for the DLI. Just not worth it.
Saltopus (7-1)
What are you going to do 'Pus? Are you going to give the HATED Bonerfriend a run for his money in the Quarters of this thing? I don't think you've got it at the moment but I'm going to be pulling for you anyway. Ein Loser in Das Losers Jay. Es tut mir leid.
The BELOVED Genetic Freaks (12-1)
Whenever I refer to this team I want to scream in a very low voice "THE GENETIC FRRRREEEEEEEEEEAKS!!!!!". I'm a huge supporter of this club, especially since they beat the HATED Bonerfried at Henry Street in qualifying. Unfortunately, they aren't goinig to get past Direwolf in the quarters of this thing. Better luck next year Freaks!
Presidents (200-1)
Go President's!!
Match Picks:
Avs over Presidents, 6-0
Maidstone over Kings, 3-0
Direwolf over Freaks, 3-1
HATED Bonerfried over The 'Pus, 3-2
Semifinals
HATED BONERFRIED over Avs, 1-2
Direwolf over Stones, 1-2
Final
Direwolf over HATED Bonerfried, in Kicks