In Mikey's Defence

Michael Hassoun has the full support and continued faith of the Ratz managerial team. He is not to be considered at fault for his lapses in concentration during tonight's match against Ellwood. At the ripe old age of 32, 'Boom-Boom' Hassoun is finding it difficult to maintain concentration for long periods of time (e.g. more than 30 seconds... as testified by his wife, Gloria Hassoun).

In addition to this his zimmer frame and white stick often seem to hamper his usual style of grace and skillful dribbling (extra kleenex in the post Mikey).

The Ratz want it known that certain slanderous allegations by a particular American team manager (for anonymity reasons he will only be referred to as 'Irish St. Andreas') will be answered in a legal capacity by Mikey's Lawyers in the fullness of time.